Why female friendships are more than just a 'nicety'.

You know that feeling when you finally get a proper catch-up with your friends, where you cheeks hurt from smiling so much and somehow you cover everything from childhood trauma to world peace in under two hours, and leave feeling insanely lighter? That’s not just good for the soul. It’s good for your physiological health.

The research says so.

Over the past couple of decades, psychologists and researchers have explored how women respond to stress and surprise surprise, it’s not all about fight or flight.

In fact, a 2000 study by Taylor et al. introduced the idea of “tend and befriend” – a phrase that sounds a little too soft for our liking but it actually points to something really powerful.

When under stress, women are more likely to seek social support, strengthen relationships, and care for others, with these responses being linked to calming, bonding hormones like oxytocin.

This is not about women being "naturally nurturing" (again a phrase too soft for our liking), but rather about a deeply rooted, biologically backed behaviour that helps us cope with life’s pressures by leaning into connection rather than isolation.

So what does that mean for us?

• Stress? Handled. Heinrichs et al. (2003) found that women who had a close friend present during a stressful task had significantly lower cortisol levels than those who faced it alone. In other words, having a mate nearby literally buffers your stress response.

  
  

• Speaking of which...venting helps! Tamres et al. (2002) did a mega study of studies and found that women are significantly more likely than men to use social support as a coping strategy. We talk. A lot. And it turns out that’s good for us, so let's not stop.

  
  

• Writing it down works, but sharing it’s better. Pennebaker (1986) showed that writing about emotional experiences improves health. But newer studies suggest that talking about them – especially with someone empathetic – might be even more powerful. Your WhatsApp voice notes? Therapy in disguise.

However, it’s not just about stress.

Friendship among women is also a source of joy, identity, and resilience.

There’s a reason we light up after a She Shares event. It’s that feeling of being seen, heard, validated and reminded that you’re not alone on this crazy rollercoaster of life.

It’s easy to put friendships on the back burner when work, family, partners, and life admin take centre stage, but studies show that having strong social connections is just as important for long-term health as diet or exercise (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2010). We’re talking reduced risk of depression, longer lifespan, better immune function.

Friendship and connection is that good.

What’s the takeaway?

Your circle of women is not just your cheer squad; they’re your stress relief, your sense-checkers, your sounding boards, and your safe place to land. Prioritising time with them isn’t indulgent, it’s essential.

Whether it’s a coffee, a walk, a sundown cocktail, or a group chat that lights up your phone, find ways to actively stay connected.

And that’s exactly why we started She Shares.

We saw how easy it is for friendship to slip down the priority list once life gets busy and how we all need that space to laugh, connect, and just be ourselves. A community where women can come together in real life, not just online. A place where conversations go beyond small talk, and where the warmth of a room full of women can do what no mindfulness app ever could.

Because while we don’t love the phrase “tend and befriend”, we do love the science behind it:

Women do better when we lift each other up.

And let's be honest, we didn't really need the research to tell us all of that, we feel it every time we show up for each other, but it's nice to be proven right.

Now, go message your group chat and book onto a She Shares event - it’s basically a medical necessity.